Father And Daughter Playing.

Three Key Fathers Parenting Jobs, Analytically Speaking

Psychoanalytic theory pays plentiful attention to the role mothers play in early childhood development. The first weeks of life are dominated by the mother-infant relationship, often referred to in the analytic world as the nursing couple*. (To be cl...
Woman Covering Eyes.

Let’s Profile Brock Turner, More Accurately Than His Father

In a letter penned in defense of a light sentencing for his son, Brock Turner’s father described him as "happy go lucky" prior to the events one night in January 2015. Even after accepting his son had sexually assaulted an unconscious woman, he still...
Walking In Autumn.

A Snarky Size Activist and 3 Benefits of My Stupid Fitbit

I am a large woman, who worked for a decade on size-activism. My work included helping women both love their bodies more, regardless of size or appearance, but also on reducing the importance they place on their appearance. More controversial, I also...
Bored Young Man.

Client Irritating You? Boring You? It is Useful Counter-Transference

When we tell someone at a party that we are a psychotherapist, they inevitable ask “Don’t you get bored hearing about everyone’s problems”? Or “Doesn’t it get irritating listen to people complain about their problems all day”? Most therapists would a...
Two Girls Whispering.

6 Openings for Talking to Kids About Sex and Gender

As parents, a lot of us have our fingers crossed. We hope our kids won’t have sex until they are grown. And that they will land on the easiest and least controversial path possible. It is a reasonable wish, but can’t be turned into a parenting goal w...
Couple Playing With Toddler.

Your Client Wishes You Were Friends; Its Oedipal

Sometimes clients express their wish that we could be friends. Sometimes the feeling is even mutual. There may be practical reasons, such as aspects of our personalities that align in such a way that we imagine a friendship would be viable. But this ...
Newborn Crying.

Psychoanalytic Mother Lovers: 3 Theories for Mom’s Day

It is true that no analyst or analytically oriented psychotherapist worth seeing is interested in anything else as attentively as our moms*. But really, who can deny it: moms are centrally key in all our lives. *Moms are sometimes Dads, or Aunts, ...
Heart Abstract Forms.

5 Reasons to Treat Dating Like an Internship

Internships rock. They are a great way to test out a type of work without the commitment of a job. That is what dating should be…a great way to check out a person and a relationship, to see if it is a good fit, without the commitment of partnership. ...
Head Sculpture With Vapor.

Attending to the Unconscious in a Psychotherapy Session

Sigmund Freud postulated that for psychoanalysis to be effective, the client must share with the analyst all that crosses their mind during the course of the clinical hour. Whether their thoughts are deemed by them to be relevant and consequential or...
Head Silhouette And Question Mark.

“Why Would I Do Something So Stupid?!” 3 Tools for Answers

“What is wrong with me”? “Who would do that”? “Why do I keep doing the same stupid thing”? These are common questions clients have when talking with a psychotherapist. Or a friend about an incident we are upset about. Or to our journals or the uni...