Run, Don’t Walk into Therapy

A blog about therapy; and how you should run, not walk, to begin your therapy journey. Folks compare a lot of things to psychotherapy, like hikes in nature, talks with a good friend, meditation, and even confessions to a priest. All those things ar...

Client Irritating You? Boring You? It is Useful Counter-Transference

When we tell someone at a party that we are a psychotherapist, they inevitable ask “Don’t you get bored hearing about everyone’s problems”? Or “Doesn’t it get irritating listen to people complain about their problems all day”? Most therapists would a...

6 Openings for Talking to Kids About Sex and Gender

As parents, a lot of us have our fingers crossed. We hope our kids won’t have sex until they are grown. And that they will land on the easiest and least controversial path possible. It is a reasonable wish, but can’t be turned into a parenting goal w...

Your Client Wishes You Were Friends; Its Oedipal

Sometimes clients express their wish that we could be friends. Sometimes the feeling is even mutual. There may be practical reasons, such as aspects of our personalities that align in such a way that we imagine a friendship would be viable. But this ...

Psychoanalytic Mother Lovers: 3 Theories for Mom’s Day

It is true that no analyst or analytically oriented psychotherapist worth seeing is interested in anything else as attentively as our moms*. But really, who can deny it: moms are centrally key in all our lives. *Moms are sometimes Dads, or Aunts, ...

Attending to the Unconscious in a Psychotherapy Session

Sigmund Freud postulated that for psychoanalysis to be effective, the client must share with the analyst all that crosses their mind during the course of the clinical hour. Whether their thoughts are deemed by them to be relevant and consequential or...

“Why Would I Do Something So Stupid?!” 3 Tools for Answers

“What is wrong with me”? “Who would do that”? “Why do I keep doing the same stupid thing”? These are common questions clients have when talking with a psychotherapist. Or a friend about an incident we are upset about. Or to our journals or the uni...

Made Your New Year’s Resolution? Read This

Most folks make New Years resolutions about their most core issues. With or without our own awareness of the links, the issues that plague us year after year are entrenched because they deeply rooted in themes from childhood. We love to think that...

Sometimes I Give in to my Kid, and I Am OK With That

Parenting is hard. I know parents are supposed to be consistent. Once we say “no,” we aren’t supposed to let them convince us otherwise. We are supposed to mean what we say and say what we mean. Really, I know, I've read all the discipline and parent...

5 Reasons Suffering People Don’t Want to Try Medication

When folks struggle with ongoing depression, anxiety or bi-polar symptoms, serious action is required. Mood disorders are no joke and can suck the joy out of a well-built life. While psychotropic medication is hardly the first order of business, it i...