Tag: couples arguing

Couple Sitting On Park Bench.

Rules of (couples) Engagement: Strike When the Iron is Cold

I know I know…the motto is “strike when the iron is hot”. There are quite a few situations in life where I believe that is sound advice. But between couples, with difficult issues between them, your best bet for fair fighting is addressing issues whe...
Couple Ignoring Each Other.

8 Things You Have to Remember When You Fight With a Partner

Couples fight. And when we do, partners expose our most vulnerable, panicky, hateful selves. Nothing else can open an abyss of confusion and madness like a stalemate half an hour into a fight with our partner. We can find ourselves treating our partn...
Woman Sitting Alone On Bench.

Coupledom is great; But Singlehood ain’t too shabby either

As an analytically oriented psychotherapist, I am always thrown a bit by “attachment theory” and “attachment parenting”. What about the other side of the coin, separation? Both attachment and separation are capacities that must be achieved. They are ...
Typography Illustration Of Couple Arguing.

Who is going to Win; You, or your Relationship?

When couples fight, the need to be right can easily distracts us from the damage that insistence does to our relationship. Unfortunately we really have to chose who is going to win, you or your relationship. Most folks come upon it honestly. In ch...
Child with Bullhorn. Featured Image for "Headline Your Needs" blog post.

Headline Your Needs!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yjy3hRyLjv0 You are radically more likely to get your basic needs meet when you communicate needs clearly to your partner/friend/boss/parent. Examples: "I could use for you to hear me out before you respond" ...
Personal Planner With Notes. Featured Image for "Quarantine Your Business" blog post.

Quarantine Your Business

S: “I have been thinking about maybe going away for a three day weekend” L: “Me too! Where should we go”? S: “Remember when we stayed at the cabin? That is still one of my favorite vacations we have taken. It was so relaxing”. L: “But it...
Couple Arguing In Bed. Featured Image for "No Arguing in Bed" blog post.

No Arguing in Bed

I don’t mean arguing right before we go to sleep. While it sucks when that happens, sometimes it happens and makes most sense to have the fight then. But sit up! Get out of bed! Bed is for a lot of things, but not for fighting. It is important to k...