As if life isn't hard enough; who needs perfection to ruin the decent? There is a cruelty to perfectionism. It takes something that could be enjoyed, even celebrated, and turns it into failure.
Communication skills are key to turning couples fighting into vehicles for relationship growth and change or just increasing injury and disconnection. You are radically more likely to get your basic needs meet when you communicate needs clearly to your partner/friend/boss/parent.
Examples:
“I could use for you to hear me out before you respond”
“I just need to vent right now; I don’t need you to fix anything or give me suggestions right now”
“I am feeling really tender, so I need you to be gentle”
“I am not mad at you; I am just really frustrated right now”
Well intended folks can get it really wrong, so being clear about what you want can help them hear and respond with your stated needs in mind. Give it a try; like headlines before an article!
Smith is and analytically oriented psychotherapist with 25 years in practice. She is additional the Founder/Director of Full Living: A Psychotherapy Practice, which specializes in matching clients with seasoned clinicians in the Greater Philadelphia Area.
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I never imagined myself a perfectionist.