Communication skills are key to turning couples fighting into vehicles for relationship growth and change or just increasing injury and disconnection. You are radically more likely to get your basic needs meet when you communicate needs clearly to your partner/friend/boss/parent.
“I could use for you to hear me out before you respond” “I just need to vent right now; I don’t need you to fix anything or give me suggestions right now” “I am feeling really tender, so I need you to be gentle” “I am not mad at you; I am just really frustrated right now”
Well intended folks can get it really wrong, so being clear about what you want can help them hear and respond with your stated needs in mind. Give it a try; like headlines before an article!
Smith is an analytically oriented psychotherapist with 25 years in practice. She is additional the Founder/Director of Full Living: A Psychotherapy Practice, which specializes in matching clients with seasoned clinicians in the Greater Philadelphia Area.
Karen L. Smith MSS LCSWKaren is the founder and director of Full Living: A Psychotherapy Practice, which provides thoughtful matches for clients seeking therapists in the Philadelphia Area. She provides analytically oriented psychotherapy, and offers education for other therapists seeking to deepen and enriching their work with object relation concepts.
Categories include Couples Corner, For Therapists, Thoughts on Therapy, Children/Parents/Parenting, Anxiety and Depression, The Trump Effect, Creating Change, Analytic takes of Stories on the News, Isms, Video Blogs, and Misc including Zits & Perfectionism
Sometimes we experience our upset as disproportionately large compared to how much we think we should be suffering. This may be in part because we are living with a memory of a time when we were much younger and much smaller with a very big load to carry.