Projection is primitive psychological mechanism used when someone feels a feeling or has a thought that is incongruent with how they want to see themselves. When the dissonant unattractive feeling or thought surfaces, they must assign it to someone.
Communication skills are key to turning couples fighting into vehicles for relationship growth and change or just increasing injury and disconnection. You are radically more likely to get your basic needs meet when you communicate needs clearly to your partner/friend/boss/parent.
Examples:
“I could use for you to hear me out before you respond”
“I just need to vent right now; I don’t need you to fix anything or give me suggestions right now”
“I am feeling really tender, so I need you to be gentle”
“I am not mad at you; I am just really frustrated right now”
Well intended folks can get it really wrong, so being clear about what you want can help them hear and respond with your stated needs in mind. Give it a try; like headlines before an article!
Smith is an analytically oriented psychotherapist with 25 years in practice. She is additionally the Founder/Director of Full Living: A Psychotherapy Practice, which specializes in matching clients with seasoned clinicians in the Greater Philadelphia Area.
If you are interested in therapy and live in Philadelphia or the Greater Philadelphia Area, please let Full Living: A Psychotherapy Practice match you with a skilled, experienced psychotherapist based on your needs and issues as well as your and own therapists' personalities and styles. All of our therapists are available for telehealth conferencing by phone or video in response to our current need for social distancing.
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Categories include Couples Corner, For Therapists, Thoughts on Therapy, Children/Parents/Parenting, Anxiety and Depression, The Trump Effect, Creating Change, Analytic takes of Stories on the News, Isms, Video Blogs, and Misc including Zits & Perfectionism